


A Peculiar Inconvenience

by provincial-girl (MykaWells)



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Body Swap, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-02 23:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4077760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MykaWells/pseuds/provincial-girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perry wakes up to realize she's swapped bodies with Carmilla. Or: The one where Perry is flustered, Carmilla is broody, LaFontaine is puzzled, and Laura really wants to kiss her broody gay vampire girlfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waking Up

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at Carmilla fanfiction, although I have written other fanfic on here as myka-wells. I hope you all enjoy!

The first thing Lola Perry felt as she stirred and rolled over was a warm body curled up next to her. Then strong, slim arms wrapping around her waist. Perry smiled to herself, still half asleep. LaFontaine wasn’t usually quite so cuddly this early in the morning, but Perry wasn’t going to complain. It was nice and cozy and the kind of picture of domesticity that Perry loved.

There wasn’t anything particularly suggestive about the snuggling; it was just a cute, tender little show of affection. Except for that kiss just below the ear, and the way fingers traced up just under the hem of her shirt. That kind behavior was more unusual and a bit less innocent. Certainly not something she was opposed to though.

“Mmm,” Perry hummed as she snuggled back into LaFontaine.

“You like that?”

Definitely not LaFontaine.

Perry shot up and moved away so fast that she half jumped, half fell out of bed and onto the floor.

“Laura!”

Laura looked down at her, bewildered by the reaction, as if Laura Hollis kissing Lola Perry wasn’t absolutely absurd. As if climbing into bed next to a friend and kissing their neck was a completely normal thing to do, particularly when Laura had a superstrong vampire girlfriend sleeping just a few doors down, and LaFontaine was…wait where was LaFontaine?

Perry looked around and registered for the first time that she was not sitting on the floor of her relatively spacious floor don accommodations. She was sitting on the floor in Laura’s smaller room after having just jumped out of Carmilla’s bed. Well, that was a bit out of the ordinary. The last thing Perry remembered was…actually, Perry couldn’t remember much. And she definitely had no memory at all of falling asleep in Carmilla’s bed.

“I’m so sorry,” Laura said, cutting off that line of thought.  She frowned as she moved to sit on the floor next to Perry, taking and examining the hand that Perry had landed rather awkwardly on. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t even think, I mean, are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m,” Perry said as she looked down at the hand in question. And she realized that it was not her hand. It was, but it wasn’t. This hand was a bit paler and the nails were painted. Perry rarely painted her nails, and she would never paint them black. But there it was, her fingers with black nail polish.

Then there was the matter of her voice. That voice was not Perry’s voice, not even close. It was deeper and a little raspier, and even felt different in her throat. Everything felt different, sharper and more intense, like she was in a whole different body, but...no, that was impossible.

Perry believed that too, at least until she caught sight of herself in the mirror of the open wardrobe. Yes, she was now in the midst of a certifiable body swap with…

“Carmilla,” Perry said to herself.

“Yes, you are Carmilla,” Laura said slowly, then added with a mischievous grin that Perry had never seen on her. “Unless you’d rather I call Mircalla.”

Perry scooted back a few inches, because it felt a lot like Laura was going to go in for a kiss, and she really had to stop this madness.

“No that’s not what I meant,” Perry said, getting up to close the wardrobe door. Not only was the open wardrobe a sloppy habit of Carmilla’s, but looking in the mirror and seeing someone else’s face was deeply disorienting experience.

“Laura, I’m going to say something, and it might sound a little…impossible,” Perry started as she turned around to face her friend. Laura was standing now too, and looking at her with what appeared to be growing concern.

“Carm, you’re being weird,” Laura said as she stood up, then took a step towards Perry as Perry backed up against the wardrobe. “And I’m dating a centuries old vampire. I’m kind all about the impossible. So, go ahead. Spill.”

“I’m, we’re, I, it,” Perry stammered, and no matter how many different ways she tried to start the sentence, the words would not come out, as if they were evaporating just as they got to her lips. Something was making it physically impossible for her to tell Laura what was going on.

“I’ve got to go, I need to go somewhere else.”

Laura tilted her head and frowned, and Perry saw for the first time why LaFontaine insisted that Laura was like a little puppy dog. Because now she was looking like a puppy whose owner was leaving her and she wasn’t sure what she’d done wrong.

“Science ginger,” Perry blurted out, because that was the most Carmilla thing she could think to say. “Science ginger has some yummy, fresh blood packs from the hospital.”

“But I told you, Carm,” Laura said as she lowered her voice to something that Perry might’ve called…flirtatious. And now she was looking at Perry-Carmilla’s lips. “You can feed from me any time you really need to.”

“What? No! That is so, it’s so…No!”

There were so many words for Perry to go with regarding that revealation: morally questionable, dangerous, unsanitary. What she hadn’t expected though, was a small part of her that found the idea mildly…appetizing.

Carmilla’s vampiric constitution apparently carried over, and now, instead of being wholly disgusted by the idea of drinking blood, some small, instinctive part of Perry wanted the taste of blood on her lips.

She needed to get this mess sorted out, needed this whole thing explained, and fast.

“That’s for emergencies, and I just, I have to go,” Perry said. She backed away from Laura, and, without waiting for a reaction, all but ran from the room.

* * *

 

Perry got to her room quicker than she normally would have, and knocked harder and louder than she probably should have. Her current body was, after all, faster and stronger. And this was, after all, an emergency. A very unusual emergency.

She knocked continuously until LaFontaine finally answered the door.

“LaFontaine! Thank goodness you’re here. The strangest thing is happening. Maybe not the strangest, since, you know, vampirism. But, still, really bizarre. I, I’m, we’re,” Perry stammered, feeling the words slip away just as they had when she tried to tell Laura was what going on. The same exact feeling that there was some kind of physical impediment, some outside force preventing her from uttering another syllable.

Perry sighed in frustration and threw her hands up as she walked right by LaFontaine into their shared room.

“Hey Carmilla, come on in,” LaFontaine said. “You looking for Laura? Cuz I haven’t seen her since yesterday. Is she missing? Did you guys have a fight?”

“No, of course not,” Perry said waving her hand. “Laura is fine. I need to talk to Lola.”

“You mean Perry?”

“Yes, of course,” Perry said. “Is she around?”

“Yeah, but I mean she’s locked herself in the bathroom, probably like 10 minutes ago,” LaFontaine said, glancing at the door. “She woke me up all stressed out and wanted to go to the library for some reason. I had to remind her that she hates the library and it only opens at 4 on Saturdays anyways.”

“Oh, that is just so,” Perry gritted her teeth and suppressed some of the  more colorful desciptions coming to mind. It was just so like Carmilla to want to run Perry’s human body around the library of all places. “Unusual.”

“Yeah, I know,” LaFontaine said. “And when I said that, she just completely freaked, kind of like the time she tried to clean under your bed.”

“Well, it was pretty filthy, and I think her mind just couldn’t comprehend how someone could live like that. It was totally understandable!”

LaFontaine just looked at Perry in Carmilla’s body for a second, tilting their head as they squinted their eyes. Something in that big, brilliant brain of theirs wasn’t adding up, and Perry hoped against hope that they might figure out that there was a legitimate body swap going on, because clearly Perry and Carmilla were unable to tell anyone.

“Okayy, well, she’s in the bathroom,” LaFontaine said, tilting their head in the direction of the closed bathroom door. “You can try, but she just keeps snapping at me. She’s actually being super cranky. It’s weird. Especially the general increase in swearing.”

Perry sighed and crossed the room to knock on the door a lot harder than she needed to.

“Hey, it’s me,” Perry said. “Let me in, Car-come on, just let me in.”

The door opened and a hand, Perry's own hand, shot out to yank her into the bathroom. Carmilla locked the door again by time Perry registered what happened.

“What the fuck is going on?” Carmilla demanded.

“Watch your language,” Perry snapped. “I don’t particularly care to hear myself speaking like that.”

“You have swapped bodies with a _vampire_ , and the thing you are worried about right now is my language?” Carmilla snapped.

Carmilla turned away and rubbed her forehead, as if the whole thing was giving her a headache. Seeing Carmilla inhabiting Lola Perry’s body was nearly as unsettling as seeing the wrong reflection in the mirror. Carmilla had such distinctive mannerisms, a flow to her movements developed over the course of centuries,  and that came through even when she was trapped in a human body.

“Trust me, I am less than thrilled about this whole thing,” Perry said. “And why on Earth would you blame me for this?”

“Because I didn’t do anything other than feed and sleep yesterday,” Carmilla said. “And last I remember, you talked me into buying some herbal iron supplement or something like that from the Alchemy Club fundraiser. I took one with you just to shut you up and because Laura says I need to be nice. Next thing, I’m waking up in your room in these…peppy pink pajamas.”

“Oh my,” Perry started. “I remember that now.”

“Yeah,” Carmilla said. “Me too. Any clue what you were actually pushing? Because there sure as hell weren’t any iron supplements in that little box.”

“That’s all they told me! All natural supplements,” Perry said. “I took one before, and they were fine!”

“Well, I’m starting to doubt whether these weren’t laced with a little something extra. Because this, right here,” Carmilla said, gesturing between herself and Perry. “Is not something that should ever happen. I’m trapped in a  human body, for fuck’s sake!”

“I know!” Perry snapped as she snatched up a handcloth hanging to the left of the mirror and started vigorously wiping down the already clean sink. “I’m not so happy about the whole being in a body that likes drinking blood. And will you please just not use that kind of language while you’re in my body!”

Carmilla must’ve realized that Perry was near nervous breakdown, because she started to say something, then sighed and sat down on the floor with her back against the door.

“Fine, it’ll be PG here on out,” Carmilla said. “Just don’t have an anyurism while you’re in my body. It wouldn’t kill you, but it’ll hurt like hell for like a week. And I’d rather not get swapped back into that.”

Perry rolled her eyes and tossed the towel into the sink before sitting on the floor next to Carmilla.

“You know, that was the most me thing you’ve ever done,” Carmilla said.

Perry laughed and it almost didn’t feel super disorienting to hear Carmilla’s laugh coming out of her mouth.

“Rolling my eyes, putting towels where they don’t belong, and slouching on the floor,”  Perry said. “Yes, that does sound a lot like you.”

Carmilla shrugged and leaned back against the door, looking at her finger nails as she stretched her legs out in front of her. It was all so laidback and casual, and Perry wasn’t  sure she’d ever looked like that in her own body. Perry drew her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees.

“So, I might have an idea, but you’re not going to like it,” Carmilla said. She went to run a hand through her hair, but changed her mind. “I just need you to be me for a few hours. Just go back to the room and act like nothing’s wrong.”

“What, no, why?” Perry stammered, thinking of how…persistent Laura had been earlier. “Laura, I think she wanted to…do things with me, with you this morning. And she can be very…forward. She was kissing my neck, your neck and tried to makeout with me, and she offered herself as a snack!”

Carmilla groan and closed her eyes as she rested her head back against the door.

“Seriously? I leave my body for a few hours and she,” Carmilla said. She shook her head. “Ugh, no, you know what, we’re just going to fix this thing. Strike that, I’m going to fix this thing. You’re going to go act like me and try not to monumentally screw up the only meaningful, healthy relationship I’ve ever been in.”

“Aww,” Perry said, smiling broadly for the first time all morning. She couldn’t help it. “That’s so sweet. You really care about her.”

Carmilla looked at Perry and raised her eyebrows. Perry couldn’t tell if that was confirmation or Carmilla’s ‘shut up before I kill you with my bare hands’ look. If it was suppose to be the latter, it didn’t carry the same punch as when Carmilla was inhabiting her vampire body.

“First of all, you absolutely will not do anything with Laura,” Carmilla said. “Just, I don’t know, call her cutie and go take a nap or something. I do that a lot during the day.”

“And what do you plan on doing? I can’t see you doing my usual Saturday morning cleaning routine,” Perry said.

“Ew, no,” Carmilla said, wrinkling her nose. “I’m going to talk to the Alchemy idiots and then possibly break into the library.”

“Wait, what?!”

“Yeah, not sure how else you expect us to find an antidote if the Alchemy dimwits are as useless as they appear,” Carmilla said.

“But why can’t we just, I don’t know, not commit acts of burglary?” Perry asked. “In a building that even _I_ will admit might be a little haunted.”

“Because, in my experience, these things tend to become permanent or at least a lot more complicated around midnight, if not at sunset, and I’d rather that not happen,” Carmilla said. “If we wait until the library is open and you’re able take my body outside without getting a blistering sunburn, then we might be too late.”

“But I have a reputation,” Perry said. “And if you get me caught committing a felony, I could lose my job!”

“Calm down,” Carmilla said as she rolled her eyes. Perry very nearly interrupted to add eye rolling to the list of things Carmilla was not allowed to do while in Perry’s body. “Tell you what, the B&E will be a last resort thing, and I’ll tell you before I do it.”

Perry considered the proposal; it was better, but only marginally so. Perry still had virtually no control over what was happening, had no legitimate role in fixing this crisis.

“But—

“Perry, I get that you want to control this thing, but, honestly, you kind of will be,” Carmilla said. “The Alchemy idiots won’t even give me the time of day, but they’ll chat you up no problem. So really, they’re going to give you all the info we need in order to not have to break into the library.”

Perry bit her lip. She knew what Carmilla was doing. Carmilla’s creative framing of the proposal did make it a bit more attractive though.

“Unless you’d rather test your luck and see if they’re feeling chatty around a girl they think is Carmilla Karnstein?”

Perry immediately recalled three separate instances when Carmilla had threatened member of the Alchemy Club with bodily harm if they kept ‘accidentally’ unleashing experiments on the unsuspecting student body. The last incident involving a dozen giant toad/snake hybrids had particularly incensed Carmilla.

“No, no, that’s not necessary,” Perry said. “Really unnecessary.”

"So it's settled then? You go back to my room and, and I'll go play nice with the Alchemy Club," Carmilla said. "I'll meet you back in my room and say I need you for a hall meeting of all supernatural students  or some kind of other floor don nonsense."

"Those meetings are very productive! You would know if you ever contributed," Perry said.

Carmilla rolled her eyes, but put up her hands.

"Fine. Just, I'll be back in maybe an hour or two," Carmilla said, standing from her spot on the floor.

Perry stood up too, far more swiftly and easily than she could have had she been in her human body. So the vampire body wasn't a complete negative.

"Okey dokey," Perry said. "Sounds like we have a plan then!"

"Oh, god, if I can’t swear, then you can’t ever be that unironically perky in my body ever again," Carmilla said.

It was Perry's turn to roll her eyes. She couldn't understand why Carmilla had always been so opposed to perkiness, as if it insulted her broody vampire sensibilities.

Carmilla smirked when she saw Perry roll her eyes.

"See, you're getting the hang of it," Carmilla said. "Now let's go get this mess sorted out once and for all."


	2. Napping and Breathing (or not)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Perry tries to act like Carmilla, and Carmilla forgets how to breath like a human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thrilled to see that so many people are enjoying this fic. It makes my day to see that people are enjoying this silly idea that came to me and wouldn't leave. Thanks for reading!

Perry took her sweet time getting back to Carmilla's room, not entirely sure how she was going to deal with having to act like Carmilla Karnstein, of all people. Perry was certain that impersonating just about anyone else would have been easier. Laura, LaFontaine, Danny, even _Kirsch_ would have been less of a stretch. At least they didn’t have the same air of mystery that Carmilla so frequently insisted on projecting.

But Perry didn’t have much of a choice and could only make a walk down a straight hallway last so long. So she did eventually make it back to Laura's room. She nudged the door open slowly, hoping that Laura might’ve left to run errands or something. That way she could just sink into Carmilla’s bed and pretend to be asleep for as long as it took Carmilla to talk to the Alchemy Club.

Perry would apparently be having no such luck though, because Laura was still there, sitting on Carmilla's bed, reading what appeared to be one of Carmilla's old books. She looked up and smiled as she set the book down.

"Hey, that was quick," Laura said, scooting over as a way of inviting Perry to sit next to her.

Perry did, because there really was no other way to react, given Carmilla's instruction that Perry not mess up this thing with Laura.

"Yes, yeah," Perry said as she slouched against the wall Carmilla’s bed was pushed up against. It felt unnatural, the slouching, but Perry wanted at least her posture to pass for something Carmilla would do. "It was quick."

Laura tucked her feet under her and turned to face Carmilla.

"I only got through a few pages of that Camus stuff you've got me reading," Laura said, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind Perry-Carmilla's ear. "I think I'm finally getting what he’s saying though."

Perry shifted to face Laura so that she could momentarily break Laura's lingering touch without being too obvious. Though she didn't have any particular problem with being touched, Perry knew where this type of touch was intended to lead and wanted to avoid that at all cost.

"What if we do that?" Perry blurted out. "Let's talk about Camus."

Great. Perry had just offered to talk about a philosopher that she knew next to nothing about, one that she couldn’t even try to fake knowledge of.  She could quote from German philosophers in their original language, but hadn’t the foggiest idea where to start with Camus. Perry might have passed this absurd test of her acting abilities if Carmilla had demonstrated any interest in educating Laura in a German philosopher like Kant rather than her beloved French Existentialists.

Fortunately, Laura wasn’t in the mood to have that kind of conversation. Laura shrugged and sighed as she leaned back against the wall next to Carmilla’s bed so that they were sitting shoulder to shoulder facing Laura’s bed.

“I don’t know. I haven’t really finished,” Laura said, her fingers fidgeting nervously, twitching as if to reach out for the person she thought was Carmilla before changing her mind.

“Well, sounds as if you like him,” Perry added helpfully for lack of anything better to say, afraid that Laura might take a lull in the conversation as a potential makeout opportunity. Perry much preferred failed philosophical conversation to making out with Laura Hollis while stuck in Carmilla Karnstein’s body.

“I didn’t say I liked Camus, Carm. I told you I understood him, ” Laura said with a smirk as she looked at Perry and held her gaze with a combination of intensity and intimacy that Perry hadn’t ever experienced in her interactions with Laura. “Although I felt that way about you once upon a time, and here we are.”

“Yes, definitely,” Perry said, nodding emphatically a few times as she shifted uncomfortably under Laura’s gaze. “That’s true. There’s definitely that, um, similarity.”

“Why are you so nervous, Carm?” Laura asked, looking down at Carmilla’s lips as she bit her own lip. Laura’s fingers finally seemed to make up their mind, as she took Perry’s hand and inched closer.

Perry sighed and pulled her hand away, looking across the room to the door of the bathroom. She turned to look at Laura, then quickly back to the door. Perry briefly considered whether she could make a run for it and lock that door behind her until Carmilla came looking for her.

Perry only turned back to Laura when she rested a hand on Perry’s knee, not a romantic or sexual advance this time, but an act of comfort and reassurance. Laura’d done the same thing months back when LaF had gone missing, so it felt nice, the first interaction with Laura that didn’t feel out of character. Then Laura spoke.

“Are you ok?” Laura asked. “Usually you’re all about me taking charge, and now you just seem a little...put off. Which it’s fine if you’re not in the mood, totally ok, obviously.”

“Laura, that’s not-

“I just wanted to help. I thought you drinking the blood always gives you a little extra, you know, _energy_ ,” Laura blurted out as she blushed. “I mean at least that was the case last week in the auditorium, then before that in that empty office in the philosophy department. Then there was that time-

“Ok, um, well, yes, about the blood. It wasn’t ready,” Perry interrupted, both to save Laura the nervous rambling, and herself from learning more than she ever wanted to know about Laura and Carmilla’s hook up habits. Then an even more disturbing thought occurred to Perry. “And, wait, wouldn’t you be concerned about aftertaste if I just had blood? I feel like that would probably be kind of gross.”

Laura furrowed her eyebrows.

“I mean to humans. Blood is disgusting to humans,” Perry said quickly. “It’s yummy for me. Only tasty O negative for this vampire chick here.”

“I mean, yeah, blood’s not my thing,” Laura said slowly as if trying to make sense of the sharp turns this conversation kept taking. “But I thought you always rinse right after anyway? And I thought O positive was your favorite?”

“Oh, I do. I just wanted to make sure you knew that, knew both those things,” Perry said. At the rate she was going she really needed to just stop this conversation, to stop talking period, because she was actually getting worse. “So, you know, yay for that.”

“Are you sure you’re ok, Carm?” Laura asked earnestly, looking right at Carmilla.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Perry said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Just need some sleep, I think.”

“Oh...ok, yeah of course, that’s ok,” Laura said as she moved away from Carmilla. “Sorry to keep you awake.”

“No, that’s not it,” Perry said, scooting forward and taking Laura’s hand. It wasn’t something she would normally do with Laura, but it also felt like something with the realm of things that Carmilla would do, and honestly didn’t feel _that_ strange. “I’m just, I’m having a weird day, that’s all.”

“It’s alright, really,” Laura said with a small, tight smile as she stood and picked up the Camus book she’d left resting on the bed. “I’ll just spend some more time with this guy right here.”

Then Perry remembered the instructions Carmilla had given, to call Laura some term of endearment and take a nap. That, at least, Perry could manage.

“‘Night sweet...creampie...puff,” Perry said.

Or not.

Laura tilted her head and frowned in confusion. Before Laura could reply and give Perry the opportunity to fail even more miserably at what should have been a relatively straightforward task, Perry lied down quickly on the bed and carefully faced away from Laura.

Perry just really hoped that Carmilla was having far more success with the Alchemy Club across campus.

* * *

 

In one of the least surprising part of the day, Perry struggled to fall asleep, and it had little to do with the fact that she’d never once in her life taken a mid morning nap. It had a lot more to do with the fact that she was in the middle of a body swap with a vampire.

For an hour, the rustle as Laura turned the pages of Carmilla’s book seemed to echo in Perry’s ears. Though she was curled on her side with her eyes closed and facing away from Laura, Perry was still wide awake, contemplating all the ways that this could go wrong, all the possible ways that Carmilla’s attitude and disregard for the the rules could get Perry fired and/or detained by the Silas campus security. What Carmilla often thought of as harmless, even humorous acts of subversion were actually imprisonable offenses in places with an actual police force, and that made Perry very nervous.

The fact that Carmilla often demonstrated a complete lack manners was also a major point of concern for Perry. That particular personality trait made it unsurprising that Carmilla skipped all formalities when she returned to room looking for Perry.

With no preamble, she opened the door of the room and walked across it, taking Perry by the arm and pulling her up.

“Um, hi, Per,” Laura said, glancing up from her book, her eyes landing on where Carmilla was holding onto Perry’s arm. “You need something? Because I’m sure Carm wiKk come voluntarily. Probably no need for the manhandling.”

“Oh, no it’s really alright...pumpkin,” Perry said. “I’m just, she told me she’d come get me for the supernatural student union, because, you know, I wanted to go," Perry said. Carmilla released her and gave her a dirty look, as if that was the wrong thing to say. As if deescalating the potential for conflict was the wrong thing thing to do.

“What?” both Laura and Carmilla said at the same time.

“I mean, just to see how totally lame it is,” Perry offered.

That earned an eyeroll from Carmilla, but seemed to at least kind of convince Laura.

“Just be nice, Carm,” Laura said.

“I will, I won’t say a word. I’ll just sit in the back, roll my eyes, and sigh in a vaguely passive aggressive way, I promise,” Perry said, looking pointedly at Carmilla. “Just like usual.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes again and grabbed Perry’s arm, pulling her forcefully towards the door.

“Come on, we’re going to be late,” she said. Carmilla spared a small smile for Laura. “See you later...Laura.”

Carmilla pulled Perry along until the got to one of the perpetually empty study rooms at the end of the hallway. She only let go to lock the door and pull the shade down over the window.

“Please tell me you’re doing better than that performance in there would indicate,” Carmilla said immediately, pointing in the general direction of Laura’s room. “Because she might actually think I’ve been possessed.”

“I’m, I, it’s,” Perry stammered in frustration. “Not everyone can pull off the moody vampire thing!”

“Oh god. You tried that? Why would you try that?” Carmilla said as she turned to face Perry. “I’m not sure if I even want to know. Do I even want to know?”

“Probably not,” Perry admitted. “But to be fair, she kept trying to flirt with me, and it just felt really weird.”

Carmilla bit her lip and balled her fists and shook her head as if to collect herself.

“Never mind, never mind,” Carmilla said as she started pacing slowly. “So I found a couple of the Alchemy kids.”

“You didn’t threaten to, I don't know, eat any of them did you?” Perry asked.

“Seriously? In case you didn’t notice, I’m missing the teeth for that kind of thing at the moment,” Carmilla said dryly.“Although I did threaten one with expulsion.”

“What? I can’t do that!  I don’t have that power to expel people,” Perry said. “At most, I can write them up and put it in their file!”

“Nothing else worked, and he was being an ass anyway,” Carmilla said as she folded her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. "Although the by-laws do technically allow you to expel students at your discretion when the safety of the student body is in immediate danger. I figured these student bodies might be in danger. Totally justified.”

“Well, that’s not actually how that works, and I--

“I am aware of that, Perry,” Carmilla said impatiently. “But the logistics of expelling people are so far from what we should be focused on right now, because fixing this is going to be a hell of a task.”

“But we can fix it, right? There must be a way to fix it?”

Carmilla sighed.

“These idiots really had no clue what the hell they were doing,” Carmilla said, going to run a hand through her hair, then thinking better of it and letting her hand drop to her side. “The stuff is actually called _izcheznalite_ , some really, really old herb or something they use to grow in the Bulgarian mountains. It’s strong, but pretty harmless if you know how to use it, just a pinch to improve all your vitamin deficiencies, stuff like that.”

“But that’s clearly not what happened,” Perry said. “What happened?”

Carmilla looked up at Perry and Perry could honestly say she’d only ever seen herself that exhausted once or twice in her life.  

“I’m getting there,” Carmilla said. “The way it works, when you take it, the necessary nutrients come from the space around you. So, according to these nerds, there could be unpredictable side effects, especially since this was a really unstable blend. Different species could end up drawing energies from each other if they're in the same room.”

“Did they say what that would look like? Did they mention body swapping?”

“No Perry, they didn’t, and I didn’t tell them because I still can’t tell anyone. And they have no idea how long it lasts or even if the effects permanent,” Carmilla snapped as she began pacing. “I could be stuck like this forever. Well, not forever because this is a stupidly weak human body, but still, a long time.”

Perry opened her mouth to snap back that she did not particularly care for living as a vampire either, but stopped short. For the first time ever, she saw genuine panic in Carmilla’s eyes. The mannerisms weren’t Carmilla at all. She actually looked and sounded a lot like Perry after witnessing the sprawling mess created by one of LaFontaine’s failed experiments. It was simultaneously comforting and bizarre to see Carmilla’s mannerisms fade from Perry’s face a moment.

Carmilla paced over to the wall and leaned against it, resting her head back and closing her eyes. Perry leaned against the wall next to her, but didn’t close her eyes.

“So they couldn’t tell you anything else?” Perry asked. She knew the signs of anxiety, and knew that focusing on concrete, answerable questions sometimes helped.

Carmilla shook her head and moved across the room to sit in one of the dusty old chairs around a table.

“Alright, ok, that’s still something,” Perry said with a calm she didn’t feel. Carmilla was uncharacteristically anxious though, so someone had to keep it together. “We’ve just got to figure out what to do next.”

Carmilla took a deep breath and exhaled, then another before growling in frustration.

“God, I hate having to breathe all the time,” Carmilla said. “Its exhausting. I don’t know how you do it.”

“But I’ve seen you breathe before,” Perry said.

“Yeah, but it’s more like habit. I don’t have to,” Carmilla said. “Well, at the moment, you don’t have to. You probably didn’t even notice, but you’ve gone minutes. Shit, why can’t I breath right?”

Perry ignored the swearing, because Carmilla was showing signs of hyperventilating, either from stress, a lack of familiarity with how breathing all the time worked, or maybe a little bit of both.

“Alright it’s ok,” Perry said slowly, crouching down in front of Carmilla, in front of herself. “Take a slow deep breath. This is probably anxiety, sweetie. Way back when you were a human, did you ever have a moment of intense panic?”

Carmilla laughed wryly.

“Well, I mean there was that one time I was brutally murdered that startled me a little bit,” Carmilla said. She took a deep breath and seemed to steady herself. “So, yes Perry, I do know what a human panic response feels like. It just...sucks, that’s all, that I can’t control it. I feel so weak.”

“Is there something I can do to help?”

Carmilla hesitated, looked at her hands, then at Perry.

“Let Laura kiss you,” Carmilla said.

“What? I thought you said no kissing? Isn’t that like cheating, and I really doubt I’m as good at kissing as someone with 300 years on me, so she’s definitely going to notice,” Perry said. “And there’s Laf, they might be a little upset if I went and kissed someone else, I don’t--

“Calm down, Perry,” Carmilla said, a smile at the corner of her lips. “I mean that I’m going to get Laura to kiss me, but I’ll look like, well, I’ll be in your body.”

“Oh, you mean you’re going to try to convince Laura to cheat on you with someone she thinks is me?” Perry asked. “I mean, I really don’t see that ever happening. And why would that even help?”

“You really are full of questions, aren’t you?” Carmilla asked, a bit of amusement blunting the edges of her annoyance. “It might not help, just, I want to try something. Trust me on this?”

“Trust the broody, sarcastic vampire to use my body to make out with her tiny human roommate? Down the hall from my actual significant other,” Perry replied. “Yes, what could possibly go wrong there?”

“Technically, you’re the vampire right now,” Carmilla said as she smirked and arched an eyebrow. It was the most Carmilla expression she could muster, and Perry really doubted whether she could ever get use to seeing that on her own face.

“Alright, fine,” Perry said. “You can try, but I really don’t see her going for it, kissing someone else. She’s kind head over heels for you, you know.”

Carmilla smiled an unrestrained, almost dreamy smile before catching herself and settling on a more characteristic smirk.

“That’s exactly what I’m counting on,” Carmilla said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter may or may not be from Carmilla's POV...thoughts on that? Thanks again for reading!


	3. Role Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla is on a mission to get a kiss from Laura...

Carmilla was exhausted, worn down beyond the telling of it. She’d always sort of resented humans as a species because they were weak and whiny and so hopelessly vulnerable that it just rubbed Carmilla the wrong way. Now though she felt sorry for them, pitied the human population, because this living thing, it was annoyingly hard work. Carmilla had been alive at one point, for over 18 years she’d been alive, but that was so long ago that she hardly remembered it. She certainly remembered none of the mechanics of the experience, none of the breathing in and out constantly, none of the unpredictable rushes of adrenaline and emotion at the most inopportune times.

Being a vampire had always been about control, finely tuned, easily exercised physical and emotional control of ones self, and, to a lesser extent, other beings. The fact that she didn’t have that anymore  was at once physically and emotionally exhausting.  

So, yes, she was a bit more stressed than usual. Carmilla also wondered if there wasn’t some of Perry’s...uptightness built into her body chemistry, not least of all because she caught herself willingly helping Perry tidy the study room before they left.

Perry was actually being surprisingly cool about the whole thing, or at least the part where Carmilla was off to kiss Laura while in Perry’s body. Well, Perry was as cool as Perry could be about such things. Carmilla really thought she’d have to do a lot more convincing, or at least a lot more explaining, because the girl really did love questions.

Fortunately, Perry had taken pity and allowed Carmilla to carry out her plan with minimal resistance. Carmilla had sent Perry Laf’s way, because that seemed the safest place for her to be. Laf was pretty good at figuring things out, so maybe a few minutes with Perry’s imitation of Carmilla would lead Laf to the appropriate conclusion. Perry readily agreed that that was as soild a back up plan as they had at the moment.

So there Carmilla was, about to open the door to her own bedroom. She hesitated with her hand resting on the doorknob. Against her usual impulse and the impulse of virtually the entire student population, Carmilla knocked.  She couldn’t pin down what made her feel like she ought to do so, but she did.

It was a few seconds before Laura opened the door a crack, peeking hesitantly out, probably because the only people who ever knocked were school officials, and they rarely made visits to offer praise or good news.

Laura opened the door wider when she saw who it. She was trying to smile, but something about it was off; the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Hey Perr, come in,” Laura said, moving aside and opening the door wider.

Carmilla entered and closed the door. She and Laura were standing close enough that Carmilla could easily have leaned down and kissed Laura. Carmilla wanted to do that. She really wanted to kiss Laura, but knew that if this was going to work, she would have to let Laura come to her.

So Carmilla stepped past Laura and walked over to sit on her own bed. Laura remained standing where she was, just looking at Carmilla like something didn’t compute.

“What?” Carmilla asked.

“Nothing,” Laura said, shaking her head and moving to sit next to Carmilla-Perry, leaving a yellow pillow sized space between the two. Carmilla did not particularly like this newfound personal space with Laura. “So what’s up?”

Carmilla shrugged.

“More of the usual,” Carmilla said, which was actually true, because an herb induced body swap was just the kind of bizarre that Silas excelled at producing. “I just cleaned the study room no one uses.”

“That’s nice,” Laura said, smiling. If Carmilla didn’t know all the different Laura smiles, she’d have sworn that one was sincerely happy. “Anything else going on today?”

Carmilla wasn’t sure what to say to that. Perry would have a list of events and meeting off the top of her head. Carmilla rarely bothered to memorize her own class schedule by the middle of the semester.

“I, uh, nothing worth mentioning,” Carmilla said. “So how’re you doing?”

“Alright I guess,” Laura said, shrugging. “No supernatural mishaps, so that’s a plus.”

“That would make for a nice change,” Carmilla said.

“Although I did just get an email warning about not harassing the merpeople in the lake,” Laura said. “And something else about making the grass and trees glow in the dark for the Zeta party next weekend. You know, just the baseline for supernatural stuff.”

“I’ve got to tell you, that is getting so old so fast these days,” Carmilla said.

“Yeah,” Laura said picking up the yellow pillow. She held it against her chest and rested her chin on it. She turned her head and squinted at Carmilla. Perry, really. Carmilla had to keep reminding herself that Laura was looking at Perry.

“Why are you really here?” Laura asked abruptly.

“What?”

“Not that you can’t just come by to hang out,” Laura said quickly. “Open door poilcy and all that. It just doesn’t feel like that. You seem kind of...nervous.”

“I’m not, that’s not it, I’m,” Carmilla started. “You know me. I’m always uptight and weird  if I don’t have enough stuff to clean.”

“Oh, ok,” Laura said, though she didn’t seem to totally buy it. She grinned a little self-depricating grin. “I’m sure you could find something to clean around here, especially on Carmilla’s side of the closet.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes.

“I’m not that desperate,” Carmilla said, then added quickly, “I mean, I wouldn’t touch her clothes. She’s very intimidating, you know.”

“Not really, though,” Laura said as she smiled softly. “She’s actually really sweet. And romantic, kind of the the hopeless variety.”

“Oh, really?” Carmilla replied, raising an eyebrow. “How so?”

“I don’t know,” Laura said, shrugging as she looked down at her fingers, the grin muted but still there. “Just small things, like the little kisses and stuff, the reading to me in bed. That kind of thing. Usually she’s really open about it too.”

“Usually?”

Laura hesitated and put the pillow she’d been holding back down between them. She sighed.

“Everyone has their moments,” Laura said. “She just has these times where she detaches and pushes me away when she’s upset about something. Like today. She’s been really off today, and I don’t know what’s going on. She can hardly look at me.”

“Well, I am absolutely sure that it has nothing to do with you,” Carmilla said emphatically, taking Laura’s hand. “Believe me when I say that.”

“I keep telling myself that,” Laura said. “I mean, we all have our off days, but...

“But what?”

When Laura didn’t immediately answer, Carmiila moved the pillow from between them and scooted closer. She just couldn’t help it. Carmilla needed to be close to Laura, particularly when Laura was upset.

“What’s wrong?” Carmilla said, then added with an encouraging smirk, “And don’t say nothing, because I know better, and you’re kind of a terrible liar.”

Laura sighed, a big heavy sigh.

“Well, I,” she said, then hesitated, biting her lip as she considered her next words carefully before throwing caution to the wind. “I really don’t want to push her, but I also don’t want her to think I’m losing interest, because I’m not, but I’m afraid that she might be. Like I was fun and exciting when it was about the chase, but its been a few weeks and now she’s suddenly realized that the chase is over.”

“I can guarantee that that is not true,” Carmilla grinned and tucked a hair behind Laura’s ear and looked right into Laura’s eyes. “I know for a fact that she still finds you very, very interesting.”

She knew Laura could be oblivious to flirting when she wasn’t looking for it, so Carmilla had decided to lay it on thick. And she was right.

“How are you so sure though?” Laura asked, biting her lip. “No offense Perr, but you and Carmilla aren’t exactly besties or anything.”

“I know her better than you think,” Carmilla said, shifting so that she knelt on the bed and held Laura’s two hands. “Let’s try something. Close your eyes.”

Laura squinted her eyes and did that adorable, confused puppy head tilt that she often did when something felt off or did not compute.

“Why?” she asked.

“Just do it, just for a minute,” Carmilla insisted. “I’m going to prove that I know what I am talking about.”

Laura looked skeptical, but closed her eyes, letting her hands relax in Carmilla’s grasp.

“Ok now you be yourself and I’ll role play Carmilla. Talk to me exactly like you would talk to Carmilla, do and say whatever feels most natural,” Carmilla said. “It’ll be  therapeutic or something like that.”

It sounded so silly, but it was just the kind role playing, conflict resolution...thing that that Perry loved. Carmilla was definitely adopting more and more annoyingly Perry-ish tendencies, because this was the only half decent idea that had crossed her mind.  

“Carmilla, I--

“Eyes closed,” Carmilla interrupted, because she suspected this would be far less effective if Laura was looking at Perry while she spoke to Carmilla.

Laura sighed and closed her eyes again.

“Carmilla, I...I don’t actually know where to start,” Laura said. She licked her lips. “I really like you, maybe more than like. And that’s kind of scary for me because I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t know how you feel, because you don’t really ever say much, and I’m sometimes really bad at reading signals. or at least reading your signals. I think you feel the same, then there are these moments where you’re so...aloof that I wonder if I was imagining it. I wish--

“You don’t know how I feel?” Carmilla cut in. She’d intended to let Laura talk it all out, but she couldn’t let that point go any longer, couldn’t let the anxiety eat away at Laura anymore. “I definitely more than like you, creampuff. You weren’t imagining any of it, except for the part where you thought I wasn’t interested anymore. I am occasionally a cranky old vampire, but that doesn’t mean I’m losing interest. It just means that I’m occasionally a cranky old vampire that might needed to be called on it.”

Laura smiled a little at that.

“Be nice,” Laura said without opening her eyes.

“Well, it’s true,” Carmilla said. “And remember who you’re suppose to be talking to, sweetheart.”

Laura scrunched her nose and shook her head, but couldn’t seem to get rid of the little smirk at the corner of her lips.

“Ok, Carmilla,” Laura said, her eyes still closed as she continued smiling. “Jeez, this just feels so weird.”

“Says the girl who is dating a vampire while attending a school that sends out regular emails about not feeding the lawn gnomes,” Carmilla replied.

Laura laughed and tuckEd her hair behind her ear. She must've been really committed to this role play thing because her eyes were still closed.

“No, I know. It’s just, the longer I do this, the more I close my eyes and listen to you,” Laura said. She paused. “It’s almost like I can hear Carmilla’s voice saying these things. It’s nice.”

“Do you want to keep doing this for awhile then?” Carmilla said. “It doesn’t have to be the heavy stuff. We can talk about anything you want, for as long as it takes her to get her act together.”

“Are you sure?” Laura asked, opening her eyes. “Because I don’t want it to be weird for you.”

“Yeah, yes, go for it,” Carmilla said. “Just keep the eyes closed.”

Laura nodded, closed her eyes and shifted her position to get more comfortable.

“Tell me,” Carmilla said when she realize Laura was waiting on her. “Tell me all about your next video project thing. What are you going to do next now that the dean is gone?”

“Oh, I’ve got so many ideas for that,” Laura said. “Long list or short?”

“The longest list you have,” Carmilla said.

Laura smiled brightly and, just like that, she  was off. Carmilla reminded herself to act a little less put out by the whole constant filming thing, because it was clearly something that made Laura happy, and Carmilla was all about making Laura happy. Even if she would never ever get the appeal of such incessant documentation, particularly when that documentation involved monologues delivered to a camera.

Laura did though. She talked about a taking her camera on a tour through Silas and the surrounding village.  She mentioned hoping to do informal on the spot interviews with students about ways to improve the school. Laura even went into a detailed description of the location scouting she’d planned, which she admitted was a thinly veiled excuse to bring Carmilla on a twilight walk through the woods followed by a picnic dinner by the light of the moon.

As Laura continued talking, Carmilla found herself struggling to focus on what Laura was saying, because she was busy taking this uninterrupted opportunity to watch Laura that everything else had started to fade.

Carmilla wanted to see every last detail of Laura’s face, every flicker of her eyelid, each twitch of her lips. Carmilla wanted to see it all, wanted to soak all of Laura in all at once. Carmilla literally could not get enough of looking Laura in that moment, and probably wouldn’t have been able to even with vampire senses in place of unbelievably deficient human senses she was dealing with.

Carmilla knew what these feelings meant, knew that they were there and had been simmering just below the surface for awhile. It just hit her, burst to the surface  with sudden,  surprising force. There was no big trigger, just Laura sitting there, being Laura.

“I love you, Laura,” Carmilla said. She might have cut Laura off, but Carmilla couldn’t  be positive, because her heart was pounding so relentlessly in her chest that she felt like she could hear the blood pumping, and wasn’t that just a _delightful_ human sensation. “And it’s ok if you’re not there yet, but I want you to know that. I am in love with you.”

There was a long, deafeningly silent pause before Laura spoke.

“Carmilla?”

Laura’s voice was hesitant, like she was working out who she was actually talking to. Carmilla didn’t say anything at all, but squeezed Laura’s hand and rubbed a thumb across the back of it.  Laura appeared to be  ultra-focused, like she was honing in on something.

Carmilla reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind Laura’s ear and let her hand rest on Laura’s cheek before trailing her fingers along Laura’s jawline. That did it.

There was a sharp intake of breath.

“Carmilla,” Laura repeated without hesitation. She beamed the most beautiful smile that Carmilla had ever seen, and, without opening her eyes, leaned forward for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's probably one, possibly two short chapters left of this oddball little fic thing. Thanks so much for all the positive feedback so far. I appreciate all of it!


	4. Kissing and The Cleaning Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Laf figures it out (sort of)...

Perry had experienced her fair share of strange, mind bending things in her time as a student at Silas. She’d witnessed a semi-sentient fungus colony attempt to take over campus. She’d seen one vampire turn into a giant cat, and staked another one. Perry had even eaten an alarming number of gingerbread cookies made out of actual people while trapped in a diner by Austrians with torches and pitchforks.

So, as much as she wanted normalcy, Perry had grown use to things that would have seemed impossibly weird anywhere besides Silas. Nothing prepared her though for what transpired when she and Carmilla switched back into their own bodies. And it wasn’t just the event itself, but the way it all seemed to happen at once.

To start with, there was the sensation, the tingling burn that wasn’t exactly painful, just strangely overwhelming. Then there was a split second of spinning blackness. Perry could have dealt with that if that had been all, if she’d just opened her eyes and found herself right where she’d been when she closed them.

That didn’t happen.

Instead, she opened her eyes and Laura’s lips where on hers, and she could feel Laura smiling into the kiss. Perry flew back from Laura, might have even instinctively pushed her away as quickly as possible.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Laura said, her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry. I just got carried away and I’m so stupid-

“No! No, not stupid,” Perry started, putting a hand on her head as she tried to will her brain to simultaneously slow down and catch up. “I can--

“Why in the name of all that is unholy did I just come to elbow deep scrubbing a toilet bowl?”

Having just burst into the room with vampire speed while Perry’s head was still spinning, Carmilla was standing there staring murderously at Perry, who was still sitting really, really close to Laura. She scooted back a bit, but Carmilla continued to look just as peeved.

“Perry,” Carmilla said through gritted teeth. Then she threw her hands out for Perry to see. “Is there a logical reason I needed my face in a toilet? While wearing these ridiculously yellow rubber gloves?”

“Dude,” Laf said, as they stood in the doorway, having apparently just run from their room in pursuit of Carmilla. “Not my exact words, but I did just ask you that same question, and you said you were stress cleaning.”

“Does that sound like something I would say?” Carmilla asked, not even bothering to hide her exasperation. “Or do for that matter?”

“So can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?” Laura asked. She was still sitting where she’d been when Perry pulled away.  “Because I may or may not have just accidentally kissed Perry after confusing her for Carmilla. And Carmilla is apparently cleaning toilets. There is something seriously wrong here.”

“Oh! I got it!” Laf said suddenly, grinning like a little kid and pointing excitedly at Carmilla. “Body swap! You guys totally body swapped.”

“Yes! You got it,” Perry jumped off the bed and threw her arms around Laf, because she was so profoundly relieved that someone was finally able to articulate what was going on. Perry gave Laf a quick kiss. “You’re amazing.”

Perry caught sight of Carmilla rolling her eyes.

“Yes, a regular genius over there, figuring it out _after_  I fixed it,” Carmilla muttered.

“That is so cool though! What was it like? What happened?” Laf asked eagerly.

Carmilla rolled her eye again and ignored the question, opting instead to pull off the yellow rubber gloves and drop them on the floor before sitting on the bed next to Laura.

“It wasn’t cool at all,” Perry said. “I woke up in Carmilla’s body with no idea why I was suddenly in bed with Laura, and--

“Oh my god!” Laura said as she apparently recalled the morning’s events. “Oh, gosh, Perr, I’m so...all that stuff I said and tried to do…I’m sorry, that wasn’t meant...

Laura was blushing bright red and had a hand on either cheek as if to hide the blush. Perry decided to move on quickly to spare Laura any more embarrassment.

“It’s ok, really,” Perry said. “I’m just trying to say it was really bizarre and decidedly not awesome, Lafontaine.”

Perry fixed Laf with a relatively stern gaze, because much as she loved Laf’s enthusiasm, Perry could do without their excessive excitement regarding this particular bit of alchemy.

“I’m with tightly wound ginger,” Carmilla said, resting her head against Laura’s shoulder. “Being a human was pretty awful. No offense.”

“Yeah, no, why on Earth would we take offense to that?” Laf said.

Carmilla shrugged dismissively. She seemed to have settled comfortably back into her body without a care, as if nothing unusual had happened. Of course, she was too busy snuggling up with Laura to devote much energy to anything else. Perry just couldn’t work like that though. She needed resolution, something tidy and neat, some further explanation, and it really annoyed her that Carmilla didn’t have any interest at all in any such thing.

“But how did you not know before now?” Perry asked. Actually, she kind of demanded it of LaFointaine. 

“Um, body swap is not the first thing that comes to mind, even in these parts. Which, how did that even--

“That’s not important right now!” Perry snapped. “And you managed to figure out that Carmilla was a vampire pretty quickly. How did you not know that you were talking to Carmilla instead of the girlfriend you’ve known for nearly 15 years?”

“To be fair, I am a very good actress. Years of experience and all,” Carmilla said with that dry amusement that was apparently her default. She was looking at Laf and Perry, but her hand was busy twirling Laura’s hair. “And you’re pretty easy to impersonate.”

Perry had an indignant retort ready when Laura leaned forward and held out her hand in front of her as if she was just realizing something and it couldn’t wait.

“Hold on though,” Laura said. “I think we should be asking why neither of you thought to tell us what the hell was going on. Because, Perry, you really did not want to be anywhere near me, and Carmilla is clearly not cut out for the cleaning life. It’s not like you guys were enjoying the experience.”

“Well, they couldn’t,” Laf said, pointing from Carmilla to Perry as they came to another one of their realizations. “Right? You guys couldn’t tell us because you took those pills and switched in the middle of the night.”

Everyone just looked at Laf.

“Yeah, it makes total sense now. I know you’ve been pushing those pill things, Perr,” Laf said, grinning enthusiastically.”And that stuff can be pretty awesome, but the Alchemy kids like to really soup their compounds up with some extra magic, usually high doses with a delayed release component to make it super effective. Hence my guess that it was a the midnight body swap. A lot of times they add a masking agent to avoid an immune system response, which is probably why your brains couldn’t find a way to tell us what was happening.”

“Is there a reason you didn’t bother telling us they were up to this type of thing?” Carmilla asked. “Or at least mention to your better half here that she was pushing some super strong delayed release magic on the student population?”

Lafontaine shrugged.

“I figured its a given that the Alchemy club is up to their eyeballs in wierd stuff,” they said. “And if Perry was saying it was working, I thought I might as well encourage her to continue embracing the wierd around here. This seemed like pretty safe stuff to start with.”

“Oh, honey, that’s sweet, it really is,” Perry said, taking Laf’s hand. She smiled in a way she hoped appeared patient, because Laf had been trying, in their own way, to be supportive of Perry’s ongoing effort to embrace things outside of her comfort zone. “But in the future, please do tell me when I am taking and selling souped up magic pills to the student body, alright?”

Laf squeezed Perry’s hand and grinned.

“Sounds like a plan,” they said, their eyes lingering on Perry for a moment before turning back to Carmilla. “So how’d you fix it?”

“What?” Carmilla asked, though it was clear she’d heard perfectly well if the way she tensed was any indication.

“It should have been a semi-permanent thing,” Laf said. “You said you fixed it. How’d you get enough juju to overpower that kind of magic?”

“I think, I, it just must have worn off fast,” Carmilla said quickly. “What with my vampire constitution.”

Laf narrowed their eyes, and Perry couldn’t blame them. For a vampire, Carmilla was actually a pretty horrible liar. She could avoid answering questions and redirect like a pro, but when it came to telling outright lies, Carmilla was really awful at it.

“What were you doing when it happened, when you switched back?” Laf asked. When Carmilla did not immediately answer, Laf turned to face Perry. “What was she doing when you switched back?”

Carmilla continued to stall, looking instead to Perry, as if for help, for backup. Perry had never been particularly close to Carmilla, so they’d never really shared too many looks, and none like the borderline desperate one Carmilla was giving now. Perry wasn’t quite sure why for a second until she remembered coming to with Laura’s lips pressed to her own.

Then she remembered what Carmilla had said about kissing Laura, that she was trying something, and later that she was counting on Laura being head over heels for Carmilla.

Perry nearly gasped when she put it all together, but managed to hold that in. She looked directly at Lafontaine, keeping her face neutral as possible.

For whatever reason, Carmilla did not want to reveal the source of the magic, at least not at the moment, and Perry was going to do her very best to respect that. Carmilla had, after all, been the one to save the day.

“Sleeping,” Perry said with the straightest face she could manage, remembering Carmilla’s earlier comments about her daytime patterns of behavior. “You know those vampires. They love some day sleeping, right Carmilla?”

“Yeah, totally,” Carmilla said casually. “I like day sleeping almost as much as a Zeta likes day drinking.”

“But--

Laura had started to speaking, looking from Carmilla to Perry and back again, like she couldn’t for the life of her figure out why they were lying.

“We should really go now though,” Perry said quickly before Laura could find her words. “It’s been a long day, and I think we could all use a rest and a good meal. Lafontaine, I could use some help with the spaghetti.”

Perry had Laf by the arm and pulled them towards the door before they had time to protest.

“Oh, um, ok I guess,” they said.

“Great,” Perry said, her hand on the doorknob. “Bye Laura, Carmilla!”

Carmilla met Perry’s eyes and offered a quick nod before Perry quickly shut the door on the question that Laura looked poised to ask.

Perry would leave it to Carmilla to explain that the only thing strong enough to overpower the magic in those pills had been true love’s kiss.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might be done with this thing...it's possible I have one little epilogue chapter left in me, but I'm also happy with leaving it as is. Thoughts?
> 
> Thanks so much feedback so far...I appreciate all of it!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed, and I look forward to hearing what you think!  
> Additionally, if you're interested, I'm also on tumblr as provincial-girl :)


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